Preparation H (May contain M rated content)

Dr. Evil and his crew of sea men were planning world domination in his new submarine base. "Ladies and Gentlemen... As you know, we've been designing a "Tractor Beam", code name, Preparation H. It's powerful enough to pull the meteor, "MIDAS 22", into a collusion course with the earth. Upon entering the atmosphere the hot ball of magma will strike and melt the polar ice caps causing a global flood"

(I can't resist, I'm entering this as Austin. xD)

"OH BEHAVE!" Yelled a man on the streets, looking VERY shaggadelic! Woman were chasing him on the streets of London. The foxes were running after him, fan girl screams everywhere. He was on the run from the babes, but he had a mission to get to. Exposition Bazil was on the other line on his monitor while he sat in the shag mobile. Dr.Evil was on the lose. That mad man had to be stopped!
This was the international man of mystery, Austin Powers. It was his job to fight crime and snag those dirty rotten apes. Inside the shag mobile he got the location of Dr.Evil's secret submarine lair, where he would track him down.
"On my way baby..." He smiled, showing his nasty unbrushed teeth. It was the 60's, you could have bad teeth and still get some! He was a hot topic that woman wanted, regardless of some of his flaws.

"Excuse me Dr.Evil" Said number 2.
"Hmm?"
"We've just reseaved news that Austin Powers is on his way here"
"Let him come. I've got a nice surprise for him... Open the trap door!"
"Open the trap door!" Frau said with a loud and shrieking voice. Dr. Evil put his finger in his ear as he mouthed the word "Ow"
In front of the main door part of the floor opened up. In side it were sharks with lazer beams attached to their heads. "Once Austin Powers comes through that door, he shall fall into the pool of sharks and then... No more Austin Powers," He says. He starts to laugh as the others laugh with him. "Muhaha... Muhahahahaha, Ahahahahaha"

(Do you still want me to use the plan we had for the rp that we talked about during our walk? xD)

On his way to Dr.Evil's secret submarine lair, little did people know, Austin's Shag mobile could also go under water! So he turned on the setting and drove off the docks into the ocean, following behind Dr.Evil's submarine. He entered the secret entrance using devices to get inside then traveled through the hallways. Once in his get up english suit, Austin ran through the front door with his gun pointed at Dr.Evil.
"Put your hands up your filthy bugar! I've got you, Dr.Evil...You can't run from me this time baby!"

(Yeah XD Although I can't remember all of it so lets just come up with it as we go XD)

Dr.Evil quickly put his hands up as he slowly turned around. "Where the hell did you come from?" He said in surprise.
"He used the main entrance sir" Said number 2 as he points to the door on the other side of the room then the traps.
"But the main entrance is over there," He says as he points to the sharks.
"That's the exit, numnuts," Said Scotty.
"Well why didn't anyone tell me this? ...Anyone?"
Scott laughs quietly
"Alright, zip it..." Replys Dr. Evil.
"Y-you can't even-"
"Zip it! Ziiiip..."
"Look, all I'm-"
"Ladies and Gentalmen of the jury, exzipit A"
"Number 2, will you please back me up?"
"Look I'm zippie longstalking..."
"I'm just-"
Dr.Evil points to his nipple. "Would you like to have a suckle of my zipple?"
"..."
"Zip it..."
Dr.Evil turns to Austin once more. "Well Mr.Powers, it looks like you made it into my base, but you'll never leave this place ALIVE!!!"
Evil music starts playing in the background as Dr.Evil laughs an evil laugh. After awhile the music doesn't stop. "Where the heck is that music coming from?" The henchmen start looking around trying to find the source. "Turn that fricken music off!" Says Dr.Evil. One of the henchmen finds an old CD player. "Oh, umm, that's mine" Number 2 points out. The sea men ignore him and smash the player with a hammer. "Thank you," Dr.Evil says. "Now Mr.Powers... You are going to let me go, and I'm gunna hold the world ransom for 100 billion dollors! Because if you don't, I will make sure you never leave this place alive."

As Mini Me sits in his chair, he then began to yawns and falls asleep right there. He was everything like Dr. Evil, only one eighth his size. Sort of like a baby. He also wore the same clothes except today he also were a baby strap since once in a while he would be carried as one. He was also a mean little bugger towards Scott to tell him to back off since he was the #1 son in the family. He couldn't say it to his face though since Mini Me couldn't speak at all. He would once in a while make little noises like growling or eeks, etc.

(Sorry it took so long to reply to this! >__< Also sorry it's kinda short.)

"Idiot...Right." He rolled his eyes knowing Dr. Evil was a complete moron sometimes. "That's just not my bag babeh, I'll never let you get away with this!" Austin said and he shot the control machine that Frau was working as she ducked and hid under the chair then walked over and held the gun to Scott. "I'll kill him! Stop now!"

Dr.Evil just stares at them both as the gun was pointed to Scotts head.
"Kill the little bastard, see if I care." He said.
"But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group."
"I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little shit! They were insolent!"
"But--"
"Zip!!"
Dr.Evil walks over to Mini Me who was asleep in his chair. "Besides, as long as I have my precious Mini Me, that's all I need." He looks at Mini Me. "Mini Me, you complete me..." He says outloud. He looks up to Austin again. "Release the fembots!"
"RELEASE THE FEMBOTS!!" Yells Frau.
Out of a door, 7 robotic, smoking hot chicks, dressed in blue and pink dresses came out and towards Austin. "Hello Mr.Powers..." They said at the same time. "Care to have a little fun?" After that, metal berrals came from one of the girls breasts, spraying Austin with a powerfull knock out gas.

(I can't stop laughing from your posts xD)

"Dear god! Jumbo jet juggglies! How'd I miss those?" He yelled but then ducked as he was getting shot from all directions from the fembots until when he moved upwards he accidentally got caught in their chest. "Whoops, sorry love, got stuck in your dirty pillows!" He then ran around the entire base as they chased him and he ran like a little school girl.

(sorry for slow replys... and Arn't they awsome XD and I finished the edit I was talking about earlyer. I want to show it to you. I'll send it in a pm along with the origional)

As Austin ran around the base with the ladys chacing after him, (again, but this time with bigger jugs and a much bigger bang, if you know what I mean), Dr.Evil sat down once again in his chair as he contacted the UN. The presidant of the US was speaking. "So, Mr.Evil"
"It's Dr. Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "mister," thank you very much."
"So what do you want this time?"
"If you do not pay me what I want, I will distroy the world with my new "tracktor beam". I want the sum of... ONE MILLION DOLLARS"
The presidant had a confused look on his face.
"Oh, sorry I ment... ONE HUNDRED MILLION BILLION CAZILLION TRILLION ZILLION BILLION MILLIONS OF BILLIONS TRILLIONS..... Dollars..."

(Sorry for reallllly late reply ._. I swear to god dude, we HAVE to do a cosplay of this one day xD No joke, going to Kumoricon in fucking style! ;D)


Austin knew there was one way to get out of this, and that was to defeat the fembots with his mojo. Not caring that Dr. Evil was in the room, he started to make sexy poses that made the fembots head twitch.
"YEAH BABY!" He started to rip his shirt off, showing his extremely hairy chest that even went down to past his abdomen all the way to his pubic hairs (Which weren't showing since he had pants on). Rubbing his nipples and showing his big smile with his bad teeth, the fembots couldn't handle his sex appeal and then their heads exploded.
"Looks like I was just too sexy for them...Now for Dr.Evil!" Austin ran across the room not caring about his shirt gone and raised his gun at him while he was talking to the UN. "I've got you now baby..." He winked.

"Help help, I'm about to be violated!" Dr.Evil said, running behind Frau. "Oh... Not what you meant?"Slowly he comes out befrom his protection.
"Alright Austin Powers, it looks like I have to choice but to tell you that I AM YOUR FATHER!!!"Scotty starts to laugh once again as Dr.Evil looks over once again and shuts his fingers as to say "Zip!"